You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
