Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
