your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
