When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize