Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
