im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
