Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
