They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
