Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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