she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Dicks are not precious.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
