Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize