I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize