The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
