Your tits are I can't wait for
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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