I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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