You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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