So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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