he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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