yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I will be naked everywhere
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
