Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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