Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
