So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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