oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
