Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Randomize
