She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
