Your mouth is God's brothel.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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