He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
