Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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