his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
