You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
