Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Randomize
