your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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