Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
