She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
