I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
