we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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