I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
one two three fourrrrnication!
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
he fucked my hip out of place.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
