so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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