And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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