Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
