so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
