Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Randomize
