is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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