I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
