her vagine was all disorganized.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
