his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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