i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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