Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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