It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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