I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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