So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
