No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
