You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
