no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
