so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
