and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
