On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
