i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
