i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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