He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
